I would like to be...
A NON-SKATING OFFICIAL
Non-Skating Officials (commonly referred to as NSOs) have the widest varieties of tasks, from Jam Timer to Scorekeeper. This large plethora of people is the only reason bouts don't end in chaos. They keep skaters organized in the penalty box, keep track of time, everyone's points, and ALL the penalties.
For more information, contact the Head NSO using the form on the Contact page, or through Facebook..